Thursday, June 16, 2011
Well, the waiting this morning wasn't as bad as I had remembered, but now the waiting is worse. I got the call a little before 12:30 and the nurse states that I got a positive test. I asked incredulously, "Really? Are you sure?". She replies, "Well you got a 16. That's not as high as we hoped, but you're in the ballpark. As long as the number goes up on Saturday, we're okay." Oh, okay. My head is reeling with this information. I was expected a "yes" or "no" answer today. Not another "maybe". That is the hardest. Yes, a no would totally devastate us, but now to wait another two days is almost unbearable. That alone was enough to send my calm and positive energy quickly spiralling downward. After I got off the phone with her, I simply turned off the TV and went straight upstairs to lay down. I cried, "hold on little one, hold on!" All we want is you. Look how hard we have worked to get you and now it's your turn to work hard for us. It's all out of our hands now. We have no say, but to rely on faith and pray that this science and technology works this time. I'm telling you people, not sure if I can handle this again. This maybe crap is for the birds. I will let you know as soon as I do on Saturday.