Monday, May 30, 2011

Cycle Day 11

Ugh. I feel them now. The nausea, soreness, protruding belly, weight gain (not cool) and just all out discomfort let me know everything's going as planned. I take Tylenol as often as I can but it's starting to not work as well and sometimes doesn't even touch the pain I feel in my abdomen. Don't get me wrong, I planned for this. I am excited about this. I just forgot how uncomfortable I really feel during the time when my ovaries fist bump each other. I can't wait until my ultrasound in the morning where my doctor again gets to say how enormous my ovaries are and press on the outside of my belly to watch them move up and down on the ultrasound screen! Hopefully tomorrow will be it. My doctor will say the follicles are large enough and I will plan for my HCG shot 35 hours prior to my egg retrieval. Fingers crossed because as this week goes on, it only gets worse. I always end up with a mild to moderate case of Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS). I already have the Gatorade stocked up and waiting to be drank to keep the fluid in those cells instead of seeping out and causing destruction in my body! We don't want fluid shifts in the body, trouble breathing or more weight gain at a rapid pace. That's all dangerous. I have given up on walking because at this point, standing is uncomfortable. Forget standing. Sitting, reclining, laying down on my back...yep, all slightly painful. But you know what? I'm ecstatic! Well, you might not be able to tell by looking at me because I feel miserable, but I'm jumping for joy on the inside that this is all going the way it supposed to. The way I remember it. The way my doctor said it would so we can achieve our goal. He said I could be in more pain. He said he would be more aggressive. He even said I could end up in the hospital with full blown OHSS. That's okay by me as long as the end result is what we want! So I've slowed down considerably. But that's okay. And some of you may laugh because I'm not usually able to slow down and relax. For some reason, this time, I'm calm. Weird, but good. Hopefully it's a sign of good things to come. I have stopped worrying about the dishes in the sink, the laundry, my tan (it's too freaking hot now to lay out and be sweating and have abdominal pain!), and any other frivolous worries I was trying to take on. Last night I started to worry about whether my husband would be home to give me my HCG shot and how I would go about getting it, if he wasn't. He literally rolled over and said, "you're just trying to find things to worry about now, it's okay, just get some sleep. All you have to worry about now is being a good follicle incubator." I love him. Not only does he make me forget about my worries and make me laugh to lighten the mood, but he puts things in perspective when I start losing sight of the goal and try to maintain control when I know deep down it's out of my hands. So what if he's at work when I have to have my HCG shot, I have friends who can give it to me. Several have offered already! Don't be surprised if you get a call! I have to maintain my calm for the sake of my follicles. I am doing this, and I will continue to be calm all week. I will get anxious around the time of the egg retrieval, but who wouldn't? That is excitement for the next step in the process, not worry.

So cycle day 11 and the shots are going well. I am starting to bruise but I always do. I have little pin pricks all around my belly button and on the insides of my elbows from them drawing blood.  I am curious to see where my estradiol level is tomorrow. I hope it stays high and doesn't bottom out like last time! I am sure with maintaining my high dose of Follistim that it will be where it should. My doctor was very pleased at my last appointment with the progress of the follicles. He stopped counting around 10, but they were all pretty symmetrical and around 8-11mm. We are hoping that tomorrow they will be 17-20mm so they are done cooking and can be retrieved!

If you read my last post, I mentioned the last thing I had to worry about was a cookout we were having out our house on Saturday. That went off without a hitch! We had just over 50 people show up, eat and have a good time! I couldn't be happier with how it turned out and I loved getting the chance to see everyone! So now, I just have to focus on being a good incubator like my husband said. My dogs are doing a good job of keeping me company and I have focused on my list of things to do to keep my mind off of the whole process and worrying. I have been working on a 1,000 piece puzzle, playing some sort of word game and reading on my Kindle, watching Cake Boss (I love that guy) on TV, reading other books and magazines, doing lots of Facebook stalking and laying around outside and inside the house. Somehow I have managed not to go crazy yet! I am waiting for that to happen when I'm not supposed to leave my bed. But I will continue to pray for this contentment with my situation and continue being happy about being in pain! I will post again after my doctor's appointment to let you all know how it's going!

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